So now I'm 22! I have a lovely shiny (red) netbook which I'm writing this on. My birthday was so exciting, I went to London to see The Lion King which I have never seen before. It was Yiannis's first trip to a theatre. He liked it (I think).

I have been suffering from low confidence recently, especially in regards to looking for jobs. I went to apply for Jobseekers Allowance on Friday and they found vacancies for me. I found it quite demeaning as they were quite low below my level. Other jobs I found for myself are the same sort of jobs that I did when I was 16. I found it hard-going. I suppose other graduates are finding it quite hard too. The problem is I have had no training for anything and no direction to head in. I don't know what I am suited to do, I have no idea what I could do. Maybe I should go into teaching even though I swore I never would.

I feel ridiculously stupid and inexperienced. Because of this, I'm deliberately sabotaging my opportunities as I don't think I'm able to do certain jobs. I don't think I'm able to do anything really. Other people around me don't seem to understand how I feel.

Today was a much better day than yesterday. I did lots of stuff I needed to get sorted. In the afternoon I accompanied Mum to the hospital where the doctor told her she was clear of Cancer. Such a relief. Of course it could always come back again but at the moment she's clear :-)

I have had a recurrent headache for the last few days. It is probably due to stress and the fact that I've not been well. I have such a heavy cold and at points have been in bed due to it. Never mind, tomorrow is my birthday! I am getting a netbook and Mum has baked me a cake. I'm so old now. 22 grrrr.

Awful day. I was messed around by the company I was meant to be doing the assessment centre with tomorrow. Well not the company, the recruitment agency. They kept telling me different things. Because of that, the whole day was wasted. Grrrr.

Feel quite ill today. I had a sore throat, little headache and the chills. I was quite weak in the afternoon but am better now. I was so worried I was getting flu which would be annoying seeing as its my birthday on Thursday.

I am sitting with pillows propping me up. It's so annoying to write like this but I can't be bothered sitting up at my desk. I am determined to write a blog more often. I miss writing and I haven't written anything properly for ages. Last night I wrote the beginnings of a very dark short story. I have missed writing.

I have a craving for something sweet tonight. I have a Muller Fruit Corner in the fridge. That or maybe strawberries. Gotta stick to the diet lol.